Lady In Waiting

I’ve just realized that the past year and a half, I’ve become a lady-in-waiting.  Now, that term is sometimes used for someone who is pregnant – well, that’s NOT what I mean!  Just to set things straight here.

I have found the past 18 months of my life very unsettling in many ways.  In September 2011, I was waiting to get packed up and move back to Canada…….. and the packers didn’t arrive until September 27th.  Every day I awoke, wondering if this would be the day when we would find out the plan.  I felt paralyzed by the indecision. Having stacks of things I sincerely want to do, and not getting anything actually done…. or even started.

When almost everything was packed up, the decision to take the job in Norway instead was made.  Due date for arrival – December 1.  And we waited.  And with my air shipment unpacked so we could continue to live there, I could have gotten a lot of sewing done……… but every day I waited for news……… you are beginning to see a pattern here, aren’t you?

The past year in Norway has been similarly fraught with waiting.  And although on the surface I looked like I was doing a lot, and exploring Norway and enjoying my new surroundings (and I was), under the surface, there was still this “waiting” for something to happen…….. finding a house, getting our drivers licenses, and since September, moving to Sakhalin Island in Russia. Running out to check the mail for several months to see if we had received the letter that said we could exchange our drivers licenses…….. waking up at 3:00 am and checking just in case David had sent an email saying that all was clear to pack up and move to join him in Russia.

It’s been a paralysis of the mind, if not of the body.

I’m trying to change that now – checking for the mail late in the afternoon – waiting until morning to check emails, sitting by the fire and reading or knitting instead of playing on the computer where I can keep an eye out for that email. Quilting on my frame downstairs, instead of feeling too unsettled to do more than look at it and come back upstairs.

Living every minute as its own entity and with its own importance isn’t easy. Tackling all the projects I really do want to get finished and haven’t…..can I really do this?

I’ve been practicing waiting for too long. I have too many interests to leave them sitting for much longer, or I really won’t have time to do them in this life.

Now it’s time to let the changes come as they will, and pack as much into every minute until they do.

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5 Responses to Lady In Waiting

  1. Cecilia magor says:

    Good for you Kathy ! I know the feeling, waiting for a change from here, but also spending loads of time in my studio, as it’s the only way to stay sane and don’t think too much about the ‘waiting I can’t do nothing about…’ Loads of UFOs finished, knitting again when Phil is home…. All stuff I enjoy 🙂 xx

  2. Ruth Reid says:

    Boy can I totally relate Kathi. I sat for 9 months in a “temporary” apartment in Bahrain, with 40 boxes from Kuwait, unpacked, waiting for the next chapter to begin. It did not begin. Everything went back to Canada, including me, for 5 months. I now live with what I can pack in 2 suitcases and a tag-a-long. I have no love for Bahrain, but I know where home is when I need it. I will spend my time reading, enjoying our travels when we get away, and stay optimistic that this is not a forever situation. Staying healthy is also a must. Good luck on your next adventure. Hugs to you both.

  3. Becky Peacock says:

    I too can relate to that. It’s been only 9 months of waiting for me, but still feels like an eternity. At least I worked like crazy on quilt projects in Kuwait before I really had to pack the boxes, then did lots of cross stitching and knitting over the summer and fall in Canada. Now I’m knitting up a storm in Korea while waiting for the next chapter of life to open. I have also decided that simply waiting and doing nothing is not a good way to spend my days. When one is young, wasting time does not seem to be a problem, but when one is older and has much less time left in total, then wasting time is just wrong, I think. Anyway, I know there will come a day when you will find that email and suddenly life will take a new turn. Until then, enjoy the journey (& the ducks) 🙂

  4. Beris Lyons says:

    Life is full of frustrating mOments I know and it feels you just can’t get on with it. I’ve learnt though not to rush any more and to live every day with purpose. Easier said than done I hear you say. But it does make us slow down and smell the roses because of the delay. Take that time to have kathi time as when it gets going you will have the energy to do it in short time. You are organized and everything will fall into place. Deep breath ..x

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